Once upon a time there was a man named Stuart. One day, Stuart is feeling terrible. He goes to the bathroom starts peeing blood and the pain in his intestines is getting worse and worse.
So he decides to just jump in his car and race off to the hospital. And he’s halfway there and suddenly he’s stuck in standstill traffic. It’s 9am on a Sunday, what possible reason is there for standstill traffic? And the pain is getting worse, and he’s there for 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes and then… he just keels over behind the wheel of his car in the middle of a traffic jam. Dead.
And the worst part is, what he had was totally treatable. If he’d made it to the hospital, he would’ve been fine.
We can all agree that is a tragedy. And not only that, but he’s the 12th person so far this year who has died stuck in traffic on their way to the hospital with a treatable condition.
Now, there’s a particular group, a group that has been growing more and more popular, that responded to the death of Stuart by saying, “That is such a tragedy. That should never happen to anyone. You know, traffic jams are a direct result of everybody driving cars. So there’s a simple, obvious solution. Everyone needs to ride motorcycles instead. In bad traffic, in an emergency, motorcycles can zip around traffic and get you to the hospital in time.”
Allow me to address this group directly:
Um… no. I mean, yeah, but… no.
Sure, several people dying in traffic on the way to the hospital with a treatable condition is a terrible problem. It should be addressed. But just because, if these individuals had been on motorcycles they would have survived doesn’t mean motorcycles are a better system.
First of all, motorcycles are harder to operate than cars so most people will be more prone to accidents. Second, motorcycle accidents are far more likely to be fatal than car accidents. Do you really think that putting everybody on a motorcycle will result in fewer preventable deaths?
And I’m not saying motorcycles shouldn’t exist either. Motorcycles have their place. They have their advantages. But cars are better most of the time even though they’re flawed.
I mean, I know it’s your least favorite argument, but it’s kind of true: we’ve tried to force everyone to ride motorcycles instead of driving cars. I get that the Soviets and China and Cambodia and Cuba and Venezuela and East Germany all outlawing cars and forcing everyone to ride motorcycles and the catastrophic failure of each of them doesn’t count. I get that they did it wrong but with your favorite politician in charge, it would work.
But no. It wouldn’t work. It’s never worked. It never will work. Cars have their pitfalls but motorcycles have worse pitfalls. Maybe we’ll invent flying cars someday. But in the meantime, cars are the best we’ve got.
To break the metaphor, I want to assure my socialist readers that I’m not criticizing all the ideas under the umbrella of “socialism.” I’m criticizing one: command economics.
Socialists don’t all believe that the government should own all the means of production, but there is an unfortunate track record of any time self-identified socialists gain any political power, it leads indelibly to a move in the direction of government ownership.
And, just like motorcycles, command economics has its place, but it should be as limited as possible.
