This is Bradley Cooper. If you ask me, he is the most attractive man in the world. Those eyes, that smile… Seriously, there are a lot of attractive men out there, but Bradley Cooper is number 1. Now, you might be asking yourself right now if I’m gay. The answer is, honestly, no. Not bi either. I have zero sexual interest in Bradley Cooper. But that doesn’t mean he’s not gorgeous.
I can also look at Scarlett Johansson and see that she is gorgeous in the same simple, aesthetic, non-sexual sort of way that Bradley Cooper is gorgeous. But I really want to have sex with Scarlett Johansson.
When I discussed semantics a few weeks ago, I mentioned the idea that our thoughts are amorphous blobs that rub up against one another and split back apart in less than clean ways. Aesthetic attractiveness and sexual attractiveness are a very strong example of that.
I can look at Bradley Cooper’s and Scarlett Johansson’s abs and see the same basic curves and lines but no matter how beautiful they are, no matter how much I enjoy looking at them, I don’t want to touch Bradley Cooper’s abs.
While I can describe that critical difference in the way that I look at these two lovely specimens, each experience is also whole. When I look at the picture of Bradley Cooper, the smile makes me feel happy, the eyes make me want to be his friend, the torso inspires me to want to work out and look more like that. When I look at the picture of Scarlett Johansson, the smile makes me feel happy, the eyes make me want to be her friend, the torso makes me want to work out more, I want to put my hand on the small of her back, I want to taste her lips and… I’ll just stop myself there.
Sex is certainly a powerful craving I feel when looking at one picture and not the other, but even in that picture, it’s still only one detail interwoven within a whole experience.
There’s an interesting movement I’ve heard of called #freethenipple. From what I understand, the idea is that women want the right to be topless in public. Let’s not beat around the bush about this. Boobs are great. Where do I sign?
But I do like to think things through.
Part of the argument is that sex and nudity are separate. Like I said above, they are. But also, they really are not.
To say that we should free the nipple because men shouldn’t see breasts as sexual is to ignore two critical and inescapable facts: one, men do. And two, women wouldn’t go out of their way to show them off if men didn’t.
As time moves forward, we’ve left the idea that a woman’s ankles should be covered in public behind. And in much of Europe, they just kept going until there remained only one tiny triangle of flesh that is still private. So in Europe, it is normalized to see women’s breasts. And it’s true, the rarity of an event does increase its impact. But does normalized mean desexualized? Certainly not.
Breasts are a distinctly feminine feature, and one that is universally beloved. And even in Europe, the baseline level of breast sexuality is still quite high. I can say this authoritatively because there is no taboo against seeing a woman’s tongue or her abdomen and I personally find both extremely sexually stimulating. And don’t get me started on Quentin Tarantino. (He likes feet.)
Furthermore, if you take sex out of the equation, a culture where public nudity is normalized and one where it is not have very little difference. I’ve been outside exercising in the heat with a shirt on and I’ve been outside exercising in the heat with a shirt off. Yes, there is a difference. But it’s not massive. That’s why the majority of men who exercise in the heat wear shirts even though they aren’t required to.
So why are women so passionate about this issue? Because
“The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.”
Germaine de Staël
It’s human nature to want to be desired, to work hard to be desirable. And breasts are imminently desirable, so it’s only natural that women want to use what they have to make themselves more desired.
Now, I hate to invoke a slippery slope, but you have to admit that things are only moving in one direction. Each time it becomes normal to show more skin, women who want to stand out have to show even more. In the 50s and 60s, blowjobs were the domain of the crazy, slutty, attention seeking girls. Now the average girl starts giving blowjobs before even having sex. And she’s a prude if she doesn’t.
Even worse, the moment it becomes okay for high school seniors to show off their boobs in public, high school freshman are going to want to emulate them. It used to be unthinkable to see a grown woman’s shins. Today, elementary aged schoolgirls wear bootyshorts to class.
Is pedophelia wrong? Absolutely. But if adult women don’t value modesty, then little girls aren’t going to understand the concept. And if adult women go out of their way to sexualize themselves, then little girls will accidentally sexualize themselves as they try to learn what it means to be a woman.
Don’t get me wrong, freedom and equality are among our culture’s and my personal highest values. It is nothing but noble to strive for equal treatment before the law for any sentient, autonomous adults.
Also, when you’re wet, be it sweating or swimming, fabric stops you from getting dry. It’s impractical and often uncomfortable. And not doing an impractical and uncomfortable thing makes perfect sense.
And to reiterate, the taboo does massively sexualize the not-inherently-sexual mammary glands.
People are about as complicated as things can be. When women, given the freedom to do so, make the decision whether or not to go topless in public, there are many factors, conscious and subconscious, all woven together into the decision. Comfort, safety, confidence, vanity, modesty, culture.
I won’t deny that it’s much more practical to be topless outside on a hot day if you don’t deny that part of the reason you choose to unveil your breasts is because part of you really wants people to see them.
Of course, all things taken into account, the fundamental fact of the matter is unchanged.
Boobs are great. Where do I sign?
